As I turned 21, two weeks ago I was finally confronted with something I been battling for the last few months. I was suffering an identity crisis. I wasn’t sure if this made me seem demented, delusional, or just being ridiculously dramatic? Yet I knew it wasn’t any of those because when I came to this revelation it felt like a calm in the storm had finally taking flight. I think for the longest time it was this immense pressure from society and even my family to have this plan of action in my life. To live a routine of life that was simple, secured, and stable.
I had adopted the same ideology yet I always knew that my ideas/world was never going to fit that status quo of living. It finally took action in the summer of 2015, I started to question myself and the life I was leading. Was I really happy? Or even content? Why was I so bored with life? And if I am, how can I change it? Suddenly I acquired this need of searching, seeking, trying to discover any piece of being that could help me fill in the void that seemed to become a deep hollow wound. For the rest of 2015, all I did was constantly strike myself with thoughts and feelings of brooding over my being and the purpose of my being. It was even intense for me to even process anything mentally since they would all be directed to anxious thoughts that would be myself so strongly completing my own existence. Was I being selfish, negative, or just being vain? I needed to stop. Until I started to realize that this is life.
Life is filled with fear, intensity, love, pain, joy, and happiness, it just part of its formula, sometimes we need to feel life so strongly. It’s hard when life throws obstacles at you that makes you more vulnerable but you realize how much it was needed it order for you to grow. There is never a definite moment in time where we are going to be sure or when we are going to be 100 % sure and that’s why it’s important to grasp ever moment because every moment is the right moment. Navigating through this life bring exhilarating excitement yet intense fear, sometime we all find ourselves trying to figure out which one we enjoy more. Life brings an experience that helps us blossom yet its crazy the unusual circumstances we have to go through in order to keep evolving.
Absolutely love this article!
ReplyDelete